A Virgin's Guide to Everything
Introduction

There I was, in a small room with the door locked, looking at myself in the mirror. I bit at my bottom lip and stared at the reflection, a 20-something woman wearing a pair of jeans and a black push-up bra. It was a sad sight: Not only was I a virgin, I looked like one, too.

Half of me said: Go for it. Leave the room. Change your life forever. The other, wimpier half hesitated. Is it wrong? Will I have regrets? What would Mom think if she found out?

A voice came into the room: “You doing OK in there?”

I wiped my hands on my jeans, took a deep breath, and replied with a resounding, “Um. Yes?”

In what felt like a flash, my camisole slid back over my head, my lungs took a last hit of air, I turned away from the mirror and flung open the door. I reached into my purse, pulled out a credit card, walked up to the woman at the counter, and asked, “Is it OK if I wear the bra home?”

First times can be nerve-wracking — even little, everyday firsts, like purchasing your first bona fide bosom enhancer. Everyday, we women enter some kind of virgin territory.

We nosh our first sushi. We strike up our first online romance. We sneak backstage, crawl up onto a massage table, or throw a dinner party for the first time. There are firsts we know we oughta do, like go to the gynecologist, volunteer for a good cause, and save up for retirement. There are firsts we dream of doing, like sign up for surfing lessons, dine at a four-star restaurant and escape to a foreign country.

But where to start? Wouldn’t it be great if we could wiggle our noses, “Bewitched”-style, and conjure a cool, older sister who’d offer advice without judgement? Wouldn’t it be nice to have known not to pile that spicy tuna roll with a teaspoon of wasabi, not to book a marathon date with a guy you just met on Match.com? Wouldn’t it be awesome to understand why going to a gyno can be wholly liberating, or how to pack light for a trip to Paris?

A Virgin’s Guide is custom-made for everyone who’s said, “I want to do that,” but wimped out at the last minute. It’s for those of us who’ve considered the out-there possibility of camping or asking for a raise, but never felt prepared enough to follow through. It’s for those of us who know there’s no guarantee that we’ll get it perfect on our first try, but believe it sure would be nice to come pretty close.

We — meaning the author, her number one helpers, and the sisterhood of women they suckered into getting them to help with this project — picked out some of the most fun (and useful) firsts we could think of, and left the big milestones — first marriage, first job, first child — to the gillions of other advice-givers.

We then badgered a slew of experts into sharing their first times and lessons they’ve learned along the way, and called ‘em “Go-To Girls.”

From time to time, we’ll warn you of “Virgin’s Downfalls,” the bumps and potholes that can prevent your first time from being all we cracked it up to be. (If you must know, a virgin’s downfall is a tiki-bar cocktail that once caused the author to get lost in her own neighborhood.)

And, because not all of us get it right the first time, we present “Born-Again Virgins,” tales of brave maidens who aren’t about to let an initial fumble keep them from their guide-given right to unlimited do-overs.

So. Welcome to A Virgin’s Guide to Everything. On your way in, please heed the invisible sign over our imaginary door that reads: “We’re all Virgins (at Something).”